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Categories: Weird/Alternative, Satire, Surveillance, Music, Sex, Opinion, Humor, Psychology, Pop Culture, and Writing/Publishing

Tags: baseball, best, blog, ever, humor, opinion, and television

Nov 19, 2007 (2 posts)

Nov 12, 2007 (2 posts)

Nov 05, 2007 (1 posts)

Oct 29, 2007 (3 posts)

Oct 22, 2007 (2 posts)

Oct 08, 2007 (4 posts)

Oct 01, 2007 (4 posts)

Sep 17, 2007 (1 posts)

Sep 10, 2007 (2 posts)

Sep 03, 2007 (3 posts)

Aug 27, 2007 (1 posts)

OLD BRIDGE - Local douche bags and cougars alike camped outside in wait for the doors of local nostalgia nightclub to open, ready to open their wallets for ridiculously overpriced drinks, get bumped into by white trash and obnoxious dancers, pee in filthy bathrooms and go deaf from terrible music from the worst decade of American pop culture. Oh, yeah. This isn't the Celery Stalk. But if it was, I'd come up with a better lede. In any case, this is more of a public service ...

Okay, so we're entering yet another week of this writer's strike. You know what cracks me up about this whole thing? The way it's being portrayed in the media."Another week of striking looms""Letterman dark another day..."Are you kidding me? People are treating this strike as if the writers are a consortium of sacred scribes who are the only ones who can pen a goddamn script. I don't know about you, but there's hardly anything on TV that a 13 year-old can't contribute to. ...

Does anyone remember Harriet Miers? Well, kiddies, I'm so jaded from this generational new media overload that it's hard for me to remember back to the simple, good old days of 2005, too.To refresh our mechanically-fried memories, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor announced her retirement, leaving an open seat on the Court bench for another justice to critically analyze frivolous cases of constitutionally semantic importance. Being that Bush was and still is the Pr...

Does anyone else think that Seth MacFarlane's "Striking" absence from the Family Guy production room may help the erstwhile comedic animated sitcom than it can harm?Yeah, he does the main voices, but any asshole drunk at a Boston brew pub after a Sox win could come in and do it. Stewie? A British guy. As for the voice of Brian the dog, I hear Rosie O'Donnell's looking for work. The show is just NOT FUNNY anymore. The references have become entered the oblivion of the obscu...

Attention Hollywood Executives and Producers:I will cross the picket line. I don't care about benefits. Hire me. I won't disappoint.Thank you for your time and consideration.Sincerely,Carissa S******

Okay, so it took me about 7 years to finally come to accept the fact that President Bush is our, er, President, but I never thought the day would come where I would RESPECT him.Well, that day is here, my friends.After reading these newly released articles, I have to say this: President Bush is Awesome. A middle-of-the-roader with a penchant towards liberalism, I never really agreed with anything Bush said or thought or supported. Most of the time it was because he never ma...

Before you read this post, you HAVE to get a load of this to truly appreciate what I'm about to say:http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/rn=3906861&cl=4771578&ch=4226713&src=newsI'm at a loss for words. Wicca? Seriously? That's the best he can come up with? Okay, first of all, this guy salutes the nature-based religion for his recent lottery win. Now, as far as I know about Wicca, and I know a lot, isn't there some three-fold manifestation about spells cast? Now, i...

I was so moved by Scott Boras' very personal rejection of Brian Cashman's offer to the now-former Yankee third baseman that I made this personalized message to A-Rod and his cash-grubbing agent:

I've heard people call it the "oldest profession", the "easiest business". Its employees? Hookers, whore, ladies of the night, streetwalkers, vamps, sluts, easy-breezies, grand canyons, you name it.Without a single shred of outward advertising, prostitution was and still has, the greatest marketing campaign in the history of mankind.Imagine this. Let's say you're a marketing coordinator. You walk into your Monday morning meeting, irate over slumping sales despite increased...

Hey guys!You read my blog, and you write to me across the Internet. BUT - have you ever wanted to talk to me live? Well, now you can! That's right - I will be on the radio, today at 4:30PM EST, fielding your questions and making fun of all that is good and holy.Listen to me at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/rocklandusa/2007/10/22/Rockland-USA-Live and feel free to call us at 646-478-5589. You have to hurry, though, because I need to work on The Celery and won't be on for lon...